The broken ankle returns to work

Hermann(the boot) and I returned to work on Thursday. I, myself, prefer to think of it as the broken ankle Olympics. We had started our training early. I had rented a seated scooter in anticipation of the long trek from parking lot to my library. For those of you who have never visited my fair campus the closest parking area is about a quarter mile away, and yes this includes disabled parking. Not that I will ever be able to park in disabled parking as I foolishly mailed in my form to the DMV. I was obviously on drugs at the time or I would have known better. However, I digress. I, and my handsome trainer started practicing several days early with the scooter. I would roll out the back door, push my way into the front yard and approach the car. I would then get off the scooter, open the back door to the car and, on one foot, shove the scooter into the back seat. This is somewhat equivalent to shoving a cat into a carrier for a vet visit. Neither I not the scooter were pleased with the action but we got the job done. Still on one foot I then hopped up to the front seat and drove around for a bit. Of course before the drive could commence I had to catch my breath and wipe away the torrents of sweat pouring down my face. After the drive I parked the car and pulled out the scooter . The scooter having once been put into the back seat did not wish to come out. To continue with the cat analogy it was a bit like trying to pull the cat out of the cat carrier once s/he arrived at the vet. The scooter, I swear, developed claws and hung onto the backseat for dear life. Once again, though , I persevered hopping about on one foot. My handsome assistant was not allowed to help as I had to prove I could perform these actions on my own. He did attempt to give what he thought was helpful advice such as “why don’t you turn it upside down and put it on your bike rack?” Why yes sweetie, I’ll just haul up 20 lbs to shoulder height while hopping about on one leg (not).

Having proven that I could indeed get around on the scooter I chickened out and had the saint drive me to work my first two days. We arrived at our parking space and I began to push myself along and towards the general direction of the library. I encountered my first hurdle at a gently sloping hill aka Mt. Everest near the library. I’d push a few feet, rest, request oxygen, and then push a few more feet, repeat the request for air and then push again. Eventually I reach the top of the hill and my right thigh announces that it has had enough thank you very much. However, we still have approximately 500 yards to go so the thigh is conscripted back into duty and we reach the front doors to the building my library is in. Bless all universities for having such solid, solid doors. The doors are wrestled open, and I make it to the second floor to encounter another set of doors. Another wrestling match ensues and voila, I have arrived. I have arrived one half hour after exiting the car. Sadly it appears that I am the Eddie the Eagle equivalent in broken ankle Olympics.

My work day commences with the boss handing over a whole slew of work and various colleagues chatting to me about how nice it must have been to be at home, lolling about in bed and reading. Yeah right, it was just like vacationing at the beach, everybody should try this. However, this did not astound me nearly as much as the reactions of various library patrons. I am ensconced at the front desk, foot on a pillow and the pillow on a library stool. Directly behind me is my walker. A clueless patron would ask a question and I’d get up, hobble around the desk on my walker and in every single case the patron would have a look of astonishment on their face. It was as if the big black boot were totally invisible and that all library staff sat at the front desk with their leg propped at a ninety degree angle from their body. Personally I think we should all be very worried that the crème de la crème of academia are so totally clueless or else be concerned about their fashion taste if they assumed that Hermann was standard footwear.

One other, tiny, tiny factor that turned my return to work into an Olympic event was a visit to the restroom. The library has not restroom so we have to walk down a hallway ~300 steps or so. Sadly, I could not go this way as there were stairs. Stairs and I are not on speaking terms since they chose to fling me down them so I had to go the long way around to use a handicapped ramp. Like an idiot I chose to do this on a walker. Big mistake, I might as well have walked the Appalachian trail. It would probably taken the same amount of time as well as the same amount of resulting soreness in me bum muscles. Future visits were done with the scooter.

Overall I did survive my first two days along with the resultant fatigue at the end of the day as well as the brain fog throughout the day as I reacclimated and my body realized it would not be getting its two hour nap. Tilly, my faithful kitty also survived the separation but neither she nor I were happy about it. For any future broken ankle folks, may I recommend going back to work half time, oh and avoid those hills!

Partial weight bearing to commence

Yesterday was a long day. First up I had an appt with the orthopedic surgeon. Initially, I saw one of the residents who was happy with my range of motion progress. He also commented on the fact that my foot seemed pretty strong when he asked me to push on his hand with it. Hurrah for diligently doing my ABCs (with the foot of course). The main ortho doc was impressed with how well my scars had healed, thanks to my genetics I’d like to point out, but less so with how tight the calf was. He remembered that both my good and bad legs have this problem. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that even my own mother told me that I walked like a jock with polio and this was years ago. He also told me that I am now allowed to put some weight on the foot using the boot as comfortable but will have to continue using a walker for another six weeks.

I love vague pronouncements such as “as comfortable.” As far as I am concerned as comfortable means lying around with my leg propped up or lolling around in the wheelchair for pretty much forever, less chance of bones re breaking that way. Intellectually though I know a certain amount of weight placed on the leg actually helps the bone heal. Like a brave little soldier I got up last night and took a few steps using the walker. It didn’t feel so bad so I took a few more. Then it dawned on me that I might not be placing any weight at all so I had my husband get out the bathroom scale and I put my bad foot down on it. I pushed down as hard as I could and could only exert 28 lbs of pressure and I knew that I had indeed not been putting any weight on the foot earlier. So I tried it again and this time knew I was putting down some weight. As a reward for being hauled all over kingdom come and then being forced to work my ankle swelled up pretty much like a puffer fish. Today, we are allowing a little more elevation and a little less perambulation though I am forcing it to do some walking.

The other doc I saw yesterday was a pulmonologist. Her first words were “why did Dr. urgent care want me to see you?” Err “I don’t know, you tell me.” Unlike ortho doc though she was quite informative and took some time explaining exactly what the pulmonary embolism had done to my lung and why I felt pain in my back. She showed me the CT scan and explained that little white dots (veins) was good, and the pinky vein was bad, as it had been blocked by the embolism. She then went on to explain that the walls of the lung should be smooth, pointed out where mine wasn’t and explained that was where the fluid had accumulated. The back pain is due to a shared nerve between the lung and shoulder. When the fluid started pressing on the nerve the shoulder registered the pain. Very cool. Less cool was when she told me she felt I needed to be on blood thinners for an additional month, sigh. Oh, and I’ll probably be more susceptible to blood clots in the future. Yipee for me.

Onward and upward, every step in the boot and on the walker means I’m that much closer to being healed.

Urban fantasy - the good and the bad

So I just finished my umpteen thousandth urban fantasy and it got me to thinking about what I like about this subgenre and what I don’t like. Obviously there is something to like about them as I read quite a few so let’s start with the good.

Urban fantasy, at least for me, is pretty much a female centric version of a lone knight (medieval not dark knight) protecting their world. Obviously there are some good male urban fantasy characters that spring to mind – Harry Dresden and Atticus O’Sullivan for example, but the genre really is saturated with women heroines. These heroines tend to be strong, independent types who are able to take care of themselves, thank you very much. There generally is a love interest, generally male, but our heroine is not dependant on this person in resolving their issues. It’s great to have this type of role model to counteract all the thin pouty helpless female images we are inundated by in other visual media. I also really enjoy authors taking certain tropes and tweaking them and the universe in which all the characters reside. As long as the rules remain consistent within that universe I’m a happy camper.

So, let’s move on to the less desirable qualities in urban fantasy. One of my biggest peeves is that we introduce a trope such as a fallen angel, vampire etc and have the character differ from the standard but then don’t explain why this character isn’t following the expected behavior associated with this trope. My most recent read used fallen angels including Lucifer yet did not explain whether Lucifer and his associates were truly evil or not and how they function in the author’s universe outside of being convenient plot devices to move the story forward. The author doesn’t have to expend the whole novel sketching in character but doing so as well as showing the heroine’s reactions to the goodness/evilness of these secondary characters is going to add depth to the story. One liners are sometimes used to sketch in brief answers such as the following “mortals are not permitted to know these things” but this is just lazy writing and poor world building in my opinion.

I’ve also noticed that author’s don’t necessarily think about basic questions a reader might be asking themselves as they read the book. To use the example of the fallen angels above, if there are fallen angels/demons destroying cities then where are the other angels, if there is Lucifer then where is God? Author, it is your world so think of a reason why these other characters may or may not be in your book. Once again, you don’t have to spend the entire novel on this type of question but a paragraph or two isn’t going to hurt either.

There are other things I don’t like about urban fantasy but my last gripe concerns the injuries our heroines sustain over the course of a novel. This gripe can extend to many other types of genres, by the way, as it seems to be endemic. Our heroine gets knocked unconscious, beaten, shot, what have you and yet never really appears to be debilitated by what happens to her. Inevitably there is generally some healing spell, salve etc. that rejuvenates her but never have I read where the heroine is laid up for days due to a concussion after a blow to the head or in extreme pain due to being shot. Make the heroine a little more human and have her suffer a bit before healing her. It makes for a more appealing character in my opinion.. Well that’s all I’ll say on the subject for now.

What fresh heck is this?

Yesterday was a bit of a busy day for me. I got some gardening done if you call sitting in the chair and reaching the one spot I can weed gardening. I also started another paperbag book and got caught up on some light reading. Evidently attempting to lead something approximating a normal life though has sent THE FOOT over the edge.

Instead of having my usual pins and needles last night we went into full blown my foot’s on fire sensations. Massage and ice helped but as soon as those stopped, whammo – 3 alarm fire at the end of my leg. I was so tired I just wanted to sleep but no such luck…. Another interesting and relatively banal phenomenon is that the skin around my incisions has begun to peel. My ankle on both sides rather resembles someone’s badly burned back where the skin begins to peel off. Can I get a resounding ewww? I’m taking this phenomenon as a good sign and that happy new skin is underneath evenif the gross factor is high.

All of this has contributed to the heck that is currently going on but what is most heckish at the moment is my cat. I do not know why but she absolutely has to sit on my chest right under my chin. If I gently dislodge her she immediately climbs right back on. I, of course, am a sitting, make that lying, duck. I’m trying to keep the foot elevated in hopes of appeasing it and diminishing the pins and needles. The only reason I’m able to type at the moment is that we’ve come to a compromise. She gets to lie between my legs under the covers while I get to sit in the most painfully contorted position possible. One leg is straight out elevated on pillows, the other is bent forming a little tent for her. So why not just move her off the bed you ask? Because she is 22 years old and I just don’t have the heart to do so. I know I’ll pay for it in hip pain later on but let’s face it at 22 I might not have her around that much longer so I’ll let her be for now.

Why I wish orthopedists were more like pharmacists

Anyone who has ever gotten a prescription medication has also gotten a three page informational pamphlet with their drugs. You are told what the medication is, how to use the medicine, possible side effects , and cautions about the medicine, i.e. call your doctor if…..

With my orthopedist we did get the equivalent of what the medicine is – that is to say what he was going to be doing in surgery. I knew going into surgery I’d be getting a plate and a bunch of screws. If it were the spouse I would have also heard about how they were going to insert the plate and screws, the size of the screws, etc.. This is something I’m mildly curious about by the way as I have visions of my orthopedist wandering the aisles of OSH and then randomly pulling screws out of one of their cute little drawers. No matter though, as , should I be so inclined, I can watch the type of surgery I had on youtube.

What I’d really like though is a more thorough equivalent of the call your doctor if…section. Right after surgery the resident basically told me to keep my leg elevated but I did get a small instruction sheet outlining big ticket stuff – bleeding, redness or pus at the incision site and so on. As a side note I got a kick out of the “if you see redness or pus at the incision site, call your doctor right away”. Hmmm, my leg is in a huge honking cast, I won’t be seeing anything. What they should say is if your foot starts to smell like a zombie call us.

What is normal though a few weeks into the healing process? I want the equivalent of the reassuring voice over actor telling me you may experience the following symptoms, these are normal. If X occurs then seek immediate medical attention. For three days, I’d had constant pins and needles sensations in my foot and it was driving me bat…t crazy. Since I didn’t have reassuring voice over actor telling me whether this was normal or not I began to troll the internet. Ms. Self-effacer also ended up asking the OS’ office and it turns out that yes, pins and needles sensations are normal. Had they given me a sheet on what to expect while you are healing though I wouldn’t have felt silly contacting them. I’m convinced my medical record has a big hypochondriac note on the top. On another side note: I found out via the internet broken bone community that over elevating the leg can aggravate the pins and needles bit. As soon as I let my leg rest on the same level as my normal leg the pins and needles dissipated. Now I’m just awaiting the next “normal” symptom to come along. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

Broken ankle equipment and tips

I’ve actually been intending to put together a list of useful “equipment” for several days now. I’m sure I’ve left some things out but without further ado, here is a list of things that are right handy to have if you’ve have a broken ankle.

First and foremost,– a caregiver – friends, family, whomever. You are not going to be able to do a lot, especially at the beginning so make sure you have someone willing to help with cooking, transportation, etc. People, myself included initially, will often assume you are merely inconvenienced by your surgery. They may also assume you are able to take care of yourself and your surroundings. This is not the case. Ask for help if you need it!

Unless you really feel comfortable with crutches I’d advise using a combo of a walker and a wheelchair. Since I fell on crutches and found them cumbersome, I refused to use them and feel much more secure with the walker.

Pillows, pillows, pillows. I never thought I’d be able to sleep on my back but anything is possible. I personally found propping my bad leg with pillows and using a wedge (snore) pillow at my back to be quite effective. Many people have also reported that using a body pillow, or beanbag, or ergonomic pillow to be effective in propping the leg. Addendum, I got an ergonomic pillow a must have!

If at possible access to the internet. Not only does it provide entertainment but there is a wealth of useful information out there. My two favorite websites: http://www.mybrokenleg.com; http://www.livestrong.com. Youtube also has tons of stuff on it including, if you are so inclined, videos of actual surgeries.

Any entertainment source that will keep you from going barmy as you lie there with your foot elevated. I found books, magazines with pretty pictures, crossword puzzles, and Hulu all to be quite useful.

For bathing an overhead shower spray and a bath bench are rumored to be handy. I can attest to the shower head but haven’t quite mastered the bath bench yet.

Clothing – go for comfortable and forget fashionable. Make sure they are easy pull on/off type of items. Sweatpants are de rigeur. Get really warm socks for the good foot/leg . You’d be amazed at how cold it gets. You may also need jackets/sweaters that are easy on/off as well. Since we aren’t moving around a lot we tend to have poor circulation which equals cold body parts.

A couple of tips – keep everything you think you’ll need at an accessible level. You’ll find out quickly enough things you’ve forgotten but a few examples would be: your toothbrush, wash cloth, plateware, snacks, etc. Also make sure you have some way of carrying things while in the walker and/or chair. I have saddlebags on my walker so I can carry basic things around the house.

Communication with an outside world is also vital. I have a friend who calls twice a day as well as other friends who call or e-mail several times a week. It is almost a gaurentee that you’ll have some depression and having other humans that are not medical personnel really helps.

Broken ankles and crafts

Not surprisingly, when one has to keep one’s ankle elevated over ones heart (or at least waist) crafts can be somewhat difficult. I, fortunately, am a hand piecer and appliquer of quilts so I can actually do some of these things with my ankle sticking up in the air. Last weekend I sat in the wheelchair for about an hour and directed the saint in the cutting of background pieces for a new appliqué block and I then sewed the pieces up pretty quickly. The whole endeavor took maybe an hour so THE FOOT wasn’t too irritable.

Yesterday a friend of mind asked if she could come over and we’d do some paper bag books and I jumped at the chance to have company. Paper bag books are a sort of scrapbooking effort in that one generally uses scrapbook papers, stickers etc ., but using paper bags instead of a flat album. Having her come over was truly a godsend. I needed to converse with another human being who was not a medical professional! We had a very good time and the Saint got to take a break from care giving. We worked for about six hours though and much of that time I had my leg down as one really cannot accurately cut paper in leg up position. This may have turned out to be a bit of a mistake as THE FOOT was really quite disgruntled and achy last night, not to mention horribly swollen. All in all though I think it was totally worth it to feel productive and almost normal! We are on strict leg up today though. So how was your Labor Day weekend?